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She also said that she would tell our otherneighbors and my buddies that I was a little “sissy-boy”who liked to wear women’s underwear.At this point, I regained my senses enough to realizewhat was happening, and I tried to capture an ounce ofdignity. I started to apologize profusely. I said thatthis was not something I had ever done before, and Ibegan to stand up.Kristen just put both hands on my shoulders, pushed downhard, and screamed, “Stay down there!”I went crashing down onto my knees and winced with pain.Kevin walked over to me and said, “If you even think aboutstanding up again, I’m gonna kick you right in the face.”I started pleading with them that I was very sorry andI couldn’t lose this apartment, I came clean on thewhole thing, that I wasn’t a pervert, I had just gottencarried away and I was very, very sorry. I then startedstammering about how I would do anything that they askedme to do, just please. I canceled my next meeting, and personally went to meet with the delegation.“The American delegation introduced me to Mister Doug Smith. They then informed me that Mister Smith was an Ambassador who had been sent to Earth by the Multiverse Government, which is the government of an intergalactic society. Mister Smith had been appointed to the position of the Multiverse’s Ambassador to Earth, and he was here to present his Ambassadorial Credentials to the government of Earth.“Since the United Nations is the closest thing we have to a planetary government, I accepted the responsibility of determining if the gentleman was what he claimed to be. My investigation has shown that he is of extraterrestrial origin, and after consulting with a few key advisers, I decided that it is appropriate for the United Nations to accept his credentials on behalf of the planet.“At this time, I would like to present the Multiverse’s Ambassador to Earth, Mister Doug Smith, to you, the representatives of.
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